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FUNNY STORIES :)

Belfast, December 2012. Door supervision course. Not a course, but a circus. The instructor was counting money for first 2 hours. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the pile of money. Was counting and moving them in different ways. After first couple of hours he started warming-up. The beginning was showing-off: I’M COOL… VERY SOON YOU WILL ALL UNDERSTAND HOW COOL I AM.
He chose me as his first target. He heard that I work on doors and shouted in a festive manner: you have no right to work without a licence, it’s a crime. Brightened up like sun he was sure that he is rescuing his Homeland. I explained to him that I work in Dublin, have a licence to do this job and he can check my details on the PSA website. I though he is not serious, it’s just a teaching method. He will understand that I’m not asleep during the lecture and will be happy. But hell no. He nearly burst out of anger that I work without UK licence. I tried to explain the situation again nicely but I was told that I will soon be arrested for that. I had to explain him that the arrest will end in a way that there will be no one to lead this course (at that moment I didn’t realise that he could probably lead a virtual course out of a hospital – more modern and safer). Anyway, he didn’t bother me again.
He tried to annoy one Polish lad. Turned out that lad is tough. He served with Special Forces, went to a mission in Afghanistan and had perfect English language skills (even better than instructor’s from Scotland ). He talked him up in English, explained everything nicely (if anybody is interested – please remind me to write about Scot’s adventures in Warsaw airport). Finally, he left the Polish alone.
Then he chose the biggest guy from us and told him: you will be crying. And will be crying loads. During Physical Intervention course. Kept telling him that every day. Like a prayer. And when the time came to make him cry – he didn’t cry. Not a single tear. Just moved around the premises like a wild pig. With a smile. If only he was angry, that grandpa would be crying. Weeping like in soap operas. But the kid wasn’t angry.
He also showed how 3 people try to arrest 1 person. During 20 years of my experience I myself (and also my team) arrested many bad guys but not once I needed 3 people to arrest one person. I teach how one person can arrest another and the second cover his back. If you are not ready for that – you need training.
He then demonstrated how to do a search kneeing down in front of an opponent. From the corner that I was watching it looked like the old guy is prepared to do a blow job. Total pornography.
During 4 days lads asked him many questions. Good questions (I’m telling you that as an instructor). I would be glad to train lads who ask those type questions. He answered no questions. I also asked. He was running away from me. I don’t exaggerate at all. Simply circus, bigger than Madagascar 3. REAL 3D.

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HEY GUYS !

Why we started our blog? I asked my friend if this is a question or we have to write it? He told me: it is a question but write it down 🙂 Second reason was that we had problems and there was nobody there to help us sort them out. We know that many of us were in the same situation. So we decided to change that. We hope that we can give hand to each other and change the world for the better. And we will have fun while doing it 🙂