Funny Stories

UK course experience 1 🙂

Belfast, December 2012. Door supervision course. Not a course, but a circus. The instructor was counting money for first 2 hours. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the pile of money. Was counting and moving them in different ways. After first couple of hours he started warming-up. The beginning was showing-off: I’M COOL… VERY SOON YOU WILL ALL UNDERSTAND HOW COOL I AM.

He chose me as his first target. He heard that I work on doors and shouted in a festive manner: you have no right to work without a licence, it’s a crime. Brightened up like sun he was sure that he is rescuing his Homeland. I explained to him that I work in Dublin, have a licence to do this job and he can check my details on the PSA website. I though he is not serious, it’s just a teaching method. He will understand that I’m not asleep during the lecture and will be happy. But hell no. He nearly burst out of anger that I work without UK licence. I tried to explain the situation again nicely but I was told that I will soon be arrested for that. I had to explain him that the arrest will end in a way that there will be no one to lead this course (at that moment I didn’t realise that he could probably lead a virtual course out of a hospital – more modern and safer). Anyway, he didn’t bother me again.

He tried to annoy one Polish lad. Turned out that lad is tough. He served with Special Forces, went to a mission in Afghanistan and had perfect English language skills (even better than instructor’s from Scotland J). He talked him up in English, explained everything nicely (if anybody is interested – please remind me to write about Scot’s adventures in Warsaw airport). Finally, he left the Polish alone.

Then he chose the biggest guy from us and told him: you will be crying. And will be crying loads. During Physical Intervention course. Kept telling him that every day. Like a prayer. And when the time came to make him cry – he didn’t cry. Not a single tear. Just moved around the premises like a wild pig. With a smile. If only he was angry, that grandpa would be crying. Weeping like in soap operas. But the kid wasn’t angry.

He also showed how 3 people try to arrest 1 person. During 20 years of my experience I myself (and also my team) arrested many bad guys but not once I needed 3 people to arrest one person. I teach how one person can arrest another and the second cover his back. If you are not ready for that – you need training.

He then demonstrated how to do a search kneeing down in front of an opponent. From the corner that I was watching it looked like the old guy is prepared to do a blow job. Total pornography.

During 4 days lads asked him many questions. Good questions (I’m telling you that as an instructor). I would be glad to train lads who ask those type questions. He answered no questions. I also asked. He was running away from me. I don’t exaggerate at all. Simply circus, bigger than Madagascar 3. REAL 3D.

Tell us your story ? 🙂

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